** The Meaning Of Caveman **

Background: Originally published July 28, 2004. I'm putting the asterisks next to the title because this is one of my five all-time best columns, based on feedback I've received from others.

     The Grants Pass Caveman means different things to different people.
     For some, it's a symbol originating in the 1930s, when Grants Pass business leaders formed an organization to promote tourism that would one day grow to some 300 members. For others, the caveman is a mascot for local high school students to take pride in.
     Still others perceive the caveman in less abstract terms, thinking mainly of the 11-foot statue that greets motorists as they exit from I-5 into Grants Pass. Someone set the statue ablaze July 4th, forcing its temporary removal for repair.
     But for me, the caveman is among my first memories. During the early 1970s, I had vague impressions of cavemen rounding up children and carting them away from their parents.
     When I was four and five, it was difficult for me to grasp some issues the same as adults. What four or five year old can? But I knew that I had to be on the lookout for cavemen, or I, too, might become their latest victim.
     Cavemen appeared mostly at parades. From my childlike point-of-view, this must have something to do with large gatherings of people. Children liked parades. Children liked to sit by the side of the road, so that they could be the first to grab candy from passing floats. This must be why cavemen showed up at parades.
     I never saw the caveman float up close. I didn't want to risk it, for fear of getting caught. Instead, I felt more inclined to just sit in the car (preferably with the doors locked) and view the parade from the distance. It was safer that way. Let the cavemen snatch up the more gullible children.
     Cavemen usually appeared at the Reedsport parade, but never at parades in Sutherlin and Oakland. Apparently, coastal children were more appealing to cavemen.
     I loved trips to the coast. Any excuse to visit the beach was a good excuse. That's why I tolerated our family trips to watch the Reedsport parade. But I wouldn't get out of the car if I caught sight of the big men in black wigs running around grabbing kids.
     My mother assured me it was all right. The kids weren't hurt. They were put in some type of caveman paddy-wagon float and then released at the end of the parade. It was fun! Caveman kids got to ride a float and see the parade from a different angle than anyone else!
     Despite my mother's assurances, my desire for self-preservation won out. Besides, how did she know what happened to the other children? Did anyone actually see those kids ever again? No thanks, I'll stay in the car.
     By the time I got old enough to appreciate all the nuances of caveman culture, the caveman disappeared from the parade circuit. At least I never saw them again at any parades I went to after the early 1970s.
     The caveman statue in Grants Pass seems to be the only visible reminder of a time when caveman culture permeated southern Oregon. A few Grants Pass-area businesses still carry the caveman name somewhere in their business title. The caveman organization still exists to promote tourism, although they no longer have the 300-plus members that they once did.
     For those who don't know why Grants Pass of all places has a caveman for mascot, it's due to the Oregon Caves National Monument, outside of Cave Junction. (Don't ask me why Cave Junction didn't clamor to have the caveman mascot, being as its miles closer to the caves than is Grants Pass.)
     My only unanswered question is: what ever happened to all of those children?