Background: Originally published August 13, 2003. This is one my five most popular columns, based on feedback I received from readers.
Dell computers came to Roseburg, promising salaried family-wage jobs with benefits. In reality, Dell coerced their workers to sometimes work 12-14 hour days, causing them to earn less than an hourly minimum wage.
Dell closed its Roseburg call center, one of only four residential sales call centers in the U.S., the first week in August, 2007. It also happened to take place on "wear pajamas to work" day, causing some terminated employees to return home in their pajamas. (If you think I'm making this up, read my column below for even more bizarre occurrences inside the Roseburg call center.)
Life on television seldom portrays life as it is in the real world. I had never heard of a "Dell intern" until the commercials first shown on television. As far as I knew, Dell interns were like gnomes: cute and cuddly, but did they actually exist? Apparently, I wasn't the only one who paid attention to the commercials.
Shortly after the Dell intern commercials hit the air, one caller asked me if I was working at Dell to pay my way through college. "No," I humbly replied. "I already have a bachelor's degree in journalism. The sales consultant to my right has a master's degree in business administration. And the sales consultant to my left is a cousin of Beverly Hillbillies actor Max Baer." (All of it true.) The caller never asked me any more personal questions about my background during the entire call.
When I first began working at Dell, I thought it might be a career. Who knows? I spent a year as an exchange student in Brazil. Perhaps I could work my way up the corporate ladder and get a position at Dell's Latin American El Dorado do Sul facility in Brazil?
Nine months later, the reality of call center life has hit home with me, which is why I am no longer working at Dell. I now understand first-hand the pressures as to why all centers nationwide have a turnover rate of more than 200 percent annually. Some people thrive on the environment. Others do not.
In my own whimsical way, I have compiled the list of warning signs, so people may know when and if they're working at the wrong job. I wouldn't even be compiling this list if it weren't for the fact that it is all true. So, without the fanfare of a David Letterman drum roll, here is my list of warning signs.
* You know you're working at the wrong job when....you come to work one day and find all of your belongings in the garbage can. Some manager has decided to move your team to a new location, without telling you in advance that you need to move your belongings.
* You know you're working at the wrong job when....the training team you started with had 20 people. And nine months later, only seven of the original team members are still employed.
* You know you're working at the wrong job when....your manager and his manager are employed for a shorter period of time than you are.
* You know you're working at the wrong job when....during the Christmas season, one of your co-workers faints from all of the holiday sales pressure. The next day you come to work, you find masseuses giving free massages to the employees, free food and beverages are provided to the workers, and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is playing nonstop in the break room so the employees can relax.
* You know you're working at the wrong job when....you walk into the men's restroom and discover bulletin boards have been installed above the urinals. What makes this even more comical is when you see four and five page progress reports posted on the bulletin board. Can somebody tell me which hand I'm supposed to use to turn the page, while I'm standing in front of the urinal? Or am I supposed to ask the person next to me to give me a hand?
* You know you're working at the wrong job when....posters encouraging employees to "volunteer" their time are posted around the workplace. Let's see. I sometimes work an 11-hour day, five days a week. And, I don't always know in advance which days I will have off. And, there is no "time off for volunteering" program with the employer, like some companies have established with the SMART reading program, for example. SO....can somebody tell me exactly when I am free to commit to volunteering? Are there any programs out there that could use a volunteer at 9:00p.m.?
In all seriousness, I would like to say Dell makes a high-quality product, and I would encourage anyone to purchase a Dell. [2014 note: However, I am also extremely happy to be using the HP laptop that I got for Christmas!]
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